2. Embrace Boredom: The Art of Empty Space

Learning to value the spaces between busyness and being.

Part Two in a Six-Part Series.

This piece was originally published on Medium and has been revised for this publication on February 26, 2025.

#2 Embrace Boredom

The Self-Checkout Spiral

I can feel my jaw clenching as I watch the person ahead of me at the self-checkout. They take each item out of their basket with excruciating slowness, searching for barcodes as if solving a puzzle.

The process seems simple enough: take item, find barcode, scan, bag. Repeat. Yet here I am, blood pressure rising, internally narrating a TED talk about efficiency and automation.

Every bit of restraint keeps me from reaching over to help—or worse, launching into an unsolicited lecture about labor economics and the failed promise of self-service technology.

Instead, like a modern-day pacifier, I reach for my phone. The familiar weight in my hand promises distraction, a temporary escape from this moment of forced waiting.

The Void We Can't Stop Filling

This isn't just about waiting in line. This is about our collective inability to simply be in a moment of pause. In the perpetual flood of information and stimulation, the mere thought of being bored sends us reaching for the nearest distraction.

I hate waiting. 

And the truth is, I would have had the same response standing in any line.

In these moments of enforced stillness, my phone becomes more than a device—it's an escape hatch from the present moment.

But why? Why do I, in those insignificant moments of pause, have to fill the void?

The Productivity Trap

We've created a world where every moment must be maximized. Even our waiting time must be "productive"—reading news, checking emails, scrolling feeds. We've convinced ourselves that this constant consumption is somehow valuable, that we're being efficient with our time.

I must fill the gaps between the doing of the things.

I tell myself I'm being productive, turning annoyance into opportunity. But what am I really gaining, transfixed by my screen while ignoring the restlessness calling out like a crying child longing to be held?

Overfed and Undernourished

Think of the last time you were at a Golden Corral or any all-you-can-eat buffet. We load our plates with 150+ menu items for $16.99, mistaking quantity for satisfaction. And sometimes, we even go back for more.

Our relationship with content follows the same pattern—gorging on feeds, notifications, and endless streams of information.

The cruel irony? The more we consume, the less we taste. Our minds, overwhelmed by this constant feast of stimulation, have lost their ability to savor singular moments. We're stuffed with content yet starving for genuine experience.

What we're really hungry for isn't more content—it's the nourishment that comes from sitting with our own thoughts, from letting our minds rest in the spaces between.

The Five Faces of Boredom

Like sitting with discomfort, being bored can be excruciating. But the experience varies widely among us. Those with ADHD, for instance, might experience boredom as something closer to physical pain—a state of overwhelming under-stimulation that demands immediate relief.

Behavioral psychology identifies five distinct types of boredom, each with its own characteristics and implications:

1. Indifferent Boredom

This is boredom at its most peaceful—a state of calm detachment. Think of a lazy Sunday afternoon when you're content doing nothing. You're not engaged, but you're not distressed either.

• Slightly positive emotional state

• Low arousal level

• Often accompanied by a sense of relaxation

2. Calibrating Boredom

Here, your mind wanders without direction. You're open to distraction but not actively seeking it.

• Uncertainty about what to do next

• Mild restlessness

• Openness to new possibilities

3. Searching Boredom

This is where restlessness kicks in. You're actively looking for something—anything—to engage with.

• Higher arousal level

• Active search for distraction

• Growing sense of unease

4. Reactive Boredom

This is what I experience in the checkout line—that agitated state where boredom feels like a personal attack.

• High negative emotions

• Intense desire to escape

• Often accompanied by irritability

5. Apathetic Boredom

The most concerning type, closely linked with depression. It's characterized by feelings of helplessness and withdrawal.

• Strong negative emotions

• Very low arousal

• Feelings of helplessness

Beyond Avoidance: A New Approach

Understanding these different types of boredom isn't just academic—it's practical. When I recognize my reactive boredom in the checkout line, I can name it: "Ah, there's that agitated restlessness again."

But recognition is just the first step. The real work comes in learning to stay with these moments rather than immediately reaching for distraction.

The Beauty of Empty Space

In Japanese aesthetics, there's a concept called Yohaku no bi—the beauty of empty space. It's visible in their architecture, art, and gardens, where emptiness isn't seen as something to fill, but as an essential element of the whole.

Think of music: without rests between notes, we'd have nothing but noise. The pauses are what give rhythm its power, what makes melody meaningful.

Could we approach our moments of boredom the same way—not as gaps to fill, but as essential spaces that give meaning to our activity?

Practical Steps Toward Embracing Boredom

1. Start Small

   • Choose one daily waiting period to practice with

   • Leave your phone in your pocket

   • Notice what happens in your body and mind

   
   

2. Get Curious About Your Boredom

   • Which type of boredom are you experiencing?

   • What triggers your need for distraction?

   • What emotions arise when you stay with the emptiness?

   
   

3. Create Intentional Space

   • Schedule short periods of no stimulation

   • Practice sitting without your phone

   • Allow yourself to experience unstructured time

   
   

4. Reframe the Experience

   • Think of boredom as a rest between notes

   • View empty time as space for integration

   • Consider boredom as a luxury rather than a burden

The Gift of Empty Time

Constant stimulation overwhelms our nervous system and depletes our capacity for deep thought and genuine creativity. By learning to embrace boredom, we're not just developing patience—we're creating space for something new to emerge.

Next time you're waiting in line, instead of reaching for your phone, try this:

• Feel your feet on the ground

• Notice your breath

• Observe your surroundings

• Allow yourself to simply be present

You might discover that in these empty moments, when you're not consuming or producing or optimizing, something unexpected emerges—a new idea, a forgotten memory, or simply a moment of genuine peace.

An Invitation to Empty Space

The world will continue its frantic pace, but we don't have to match it beat for beat. We can choose to appreciate the pauses, to find value in the spaces between.

So here's your invitation: Next time boredom arrives, welcome it as a guest. Stay with it just a little longer than feels comfortable. See what it might have to teach you.

After all, in a world that's constantly demanding our attention, choosing to embrace empty space might be the most radical act of all.

This is part two of a series exploring personal growth through six guiding principles. Continue to "Be Curious" where we'll discover how embracing empty spaces opens us to deeper understanding.